Why Do We Rationalize Babymoons?

Babymoons are getting more and more popular. A couple that will soon be having a child will go on one last vacation before the baby comes. It’s like giving the parents their choice of a last meal on death row. “Let’s go on one more vacation before we’ll never be able to do that again!”

Living a Child Free Life has many advantageous and having the ability to travel when and where I want is just one of them. (I talked about this here.) I was perusing the Internet and came across list that have their Top Reasons to go on a Babymoon. I came away speechless. Once you’re living a Child Free Life you begin to see parents and parent-to-be rationalize things in very odd ways.

Here are some of the reasons I came across to go on a Babymoon:

1. Recharge Your Batteries Before the Baby Comes
2. Spend Quality Time with Your Partner While You Can
3. Time to Plan & Budget for When the Baby Comes
4. Observe Other Kids and Have Compassion for Parents
5. Traveling Will Never be the Same

On the surface these all might look like somewhat normal reasons. But when I read each of these reasons to go on a Babymoon they really baffled me. Once you’ve decided to live a Child Free Life you’ll be able to easily spot situations where parents try to rationalize decisions they’ve made in their lives. It’s truly amazing how irrational people act when they have children. Let’s take a closer look at these reasons.

1) Recharge Your Batteries Before the Baby Comes

Having a baby is a full-time job as they say. A newborn in the house requires constant attention from the parents. The newborn needs to be fed, have its diaper changed, burped, coddled, put down for a nap, and then it starts all over again. And then again. And again. Naturally this continues through the night so new parents are typically sleep deprived because they’re caring for their baby 24 hours a day. That sounds fun and all, but it’s not for me. Instead I’ll be sure to think of you as I’m comfortably asleep getting my 8 hours of rest to be ready to go for the next day.

Translation: They’re saying you need to recharge your batteries because the next phase of your life is going to kick your butt! You’ll be tired, cranky, less productive, and live a less healthy lifestyle so enjoy your last hurrah while you can.

2) Spend Quality Time with Your Partner While You Can.

I loved how it actually said “while you can.” We know that a baby demands the attention of the parents at the sacrifice of their relationship. Rather than having conversations with your partner about their day, goals, thoughts and beliefs, they turn into conversations about how many diapers are left, whose turn it is to wake up when the baby starts crying in the middle of the night, and how can we get this thing to stop crying. The relationship with your partner turns from two people getting to know each other on a deeper level everyday into a transactional model of how are we going to get through the day together with this baby.

(I’ll admit, this can be good for some couples because they will work together as a team and feel connected. But can’t couples that live Child Free work on a house project together to get the same satisfaction? If the house project goes south you can call in a professional. If the “raising the baby project” goes south do you call social services?)

Translation: Your relationship with your partner better be ironclad strong because you are going to put it to the ultimate test. The relationship you have with your partner is going to drastically change and I hope you’re ready.

3) Time to Plan & Budget for When the Baby Comes

Call me old fashion, but I’d rather not be planning out which stroller to get as I’m walking through the Louvre in Paris, but that’s just me. I suppose if you want to talk about baby names as you sit next to the pool there’s nothing wrong with that, but it’s just not my cup of tea. The part that truly scares me is allocating time to budgeting. The cost of raising a child is one of the two biggest financial decisions of your life and should not be taken lightly. It’s a life alerting decision purely from a financial standpoint. If you’re on your Babymoon and about to pop out a human in the next six months and you haven’t started budgeting, or worse, haven’t even considered the financial impact it will have on your life, you’re going to be in shock when you start adding up the numbers.

Translation: You should have done this already. But I know you haven’t so you better start now.

4) Observe Other Kids and Have Compassion for Parents

Warning: This isn’t a joke. Imagine these three scenarios:

1. You’re on a three hour flight and the toddler behind you is kicking your seat nonstop.
2. You’re shopping in a store and a child has a meltdown and starts wailing in the middle of the floor.
3. You’re having a nice dinner with your partner and two children start running around the restaurant playing tag because they’re bored and don’t want to sit at the table anymore.

Their advice is to observe these children and have compassion for the parents. WAIT! Are you serious?! Have compassion for the parents?! The same parents that chose to have a child?! So it’s okay for these children to annoying the crap out of other people and we’re supposed to have compassion for the parents?!

Translation: I have children that are obnoxious that I never discipline, and I don’t like it when other people tell me how to parent, especially other parents with children who behave and are disciplined.

5) Traveling Will Never be the Same

This one is actually legit. They’re right. Traveling will never be the same. This is a sacrifice you and your partner will need to make. Maybe you’re fortunate and you can pawn your kids off to your parents for a long weekend so you can get away. Maybe you’ll hire a babysitter to watch your children for a full week, but of course that costs money. You might even send your children off to a summer camp for a week so you can travel, but again the money thing. Even if you and your partner can get away one of you will probably we worrying about the children. One of you will worry they forgot to take their medication. So you’ll FaceTime with them at night. You’ll be texting throughout the day to check in. You aren’t traveling the way you did.

Translation: This is your last chance to take a romantic, exotic, or relaxing vacation with your partner until your children are grown up.

When I look at these 5 reasons to go on a Babymoon they all have a common theme: they are all warning signs for your relationship with your partner. Bringing a child into the world is going to put huge strain on your relationship. Your relationship will be put to the test. Do you want to live a Child Free Life with your partner or do you want to put your relationship to the test?